Pants, South Park Style

Name: Andrew Ponikarovsky
Gender: Male
Age: 17
Grade: Eleven
School: North Toronto High School/Hobbsborough High School
Homeroom: Mrs. Laney's Homeroom
Hobbies and Interests: School Hockey Team, Student Council President (Toronto), Athletic Council

Appearance: Lanky is the word that best describes Andrew Ponikarovsky. He stands at five feet, eleven inches, and while he doesn't have too much meat on his slender frame, he's definitely the kind of kid who's pretty athletic. He's been playing hockey for as long as he can remember, and thanks to that hockey he has a very muscular pair of legs. It isn't like he's one of those toned guys with a six pack, but he's in pretty good shape. As far as looks go, Andrew's not the best looking guy around, and he knows it, in fact he's not ugly, nor is he all that bad looking but he constantly has a goofy grin on his face and he has rather large ears. Not huge, but large enough that he makes fun of himself all the time. Andrew's a pretty sharp dresser, he's very rarely caught wearing something that looks tacky, and he has a pretty good sense of style. Most times, he's wearing his leather hockey jacket, because it's the kind of jacket that can be used as both a spring jacket and a winter coat. Most of the time, if not all, he's wearing dark jeans, along with a pair of white and blue Nike sneakers. He also usually wears t-shirts that have funny and inappropriate slogans or sayings on them, it's his way of being humorous. He has glasses for reading that very few people have seen him wear, that he's actually kind of ashamed of. He has brown hair and a small goatee on his chin that he keeps short. He wears a gold cross around his neck, though he's not particularily religious, it was a gift that he recieved from his late grandparents, and that's something he'll always treasure. He has hazel eyes that betray a fierce intelligence about him, as much as the rest of him may not show it.

Biography: Nicknamed 'Pants', because of his complicated-to-say last name, Andrew's a smart kid, and while he may not look like it, he tries really hard in school and for the most part gets pretty good grades. He's a charismatic guy, who people tend to group to, and he's got probably the best sense of humor in his whole school. He's widely known as a hilarious guy who always has some story to tell, a joke to make people laugh, or just a funny look to make. Andrew's always been very good at talking, from public speaking to talking in class, he's a very extroverted guy, something that has made him quite a few friends, as well as quite a few enemies. He's been known to make fun of people, but most of the time, it's all in good fun. It's only sometimes that when he really takes a dislike to someone, that he actually means what he says, and in those instances he can actually be fairly cruel. That doesn't happen all that often, though, and most of the time Andrew's a pretty friendly guy; that is, if he's in a situation in which he feels comfortable. If he isn't, he will become very cautious and possibly even quiet, because he feels as though he's lost control and isn't in anything near a comfort zone.

While Andrew may seem like the kind of guy who has very little substance to him, to make that assumption would be a very grave mistake. Internally, Andrew's very conflicted at times, and often lacks confidence in himself to make decisions that pertain to all sorts of things, mainly girls. He's had a few girlfriends, and has definitely had some wild and wacky experiences when it comes to sex, but he's always been one to, at times, wonder how come he can't seem to find the right person, always blaming himself for that. He has very few people that he'd actually consider 'close' friends, and while he has a lot of friends, there aren't many who he actually trusts to tell information to. Andrew definitely is a conflicted person when he's by himself, and while he may seem like the 'popularity king' when he's at school, outside of it, he values his privacy and the company of his closest friends. Many a time, Andrew will find himself sitting back, playing video games or just relaxing.

As for Andrew's close friends, he has three of them that are noteworthy. The four of them actually formed a group, and up until the group split itself up thanks to a move, they called themselves 'the A-team'. Two of the pair moved to the United States, while the other two remained in Canada. While still remaining friends, Andrew found it harder to keep in touch with them. Andrew is the school's vice-president, and maintains a good relationship with the school administration as well as the majority of the student body. He's one of the most outwardly popular kids in the school, though he never forgets his friends, even if they happen to be some of the lesser-known kids in the school. Andrew has two older brothers; Mark and Paul.

In September of 2006, Andrew and two other classmates of his who recieved top marks in the school chose to enroll in a program that would essentially be an exchange program that would be used to study the differences between the Canadian and American Public school systems. Since January, Andrew has been temporarily living in New Jersey and is currently attending Hobbsborough High School. He must fill out a small journal every week, on what he is doing and what kind of activities the school is offering. He will be returning to Canada in the fall.

In the summer of 2005, Andrew turned on his television and watched in horror as two of his closest friends were forced to participate in SOTF v1. His best friend ended up winning, and the other one died early on in the competition. Andrew was flabberghasted at this, and while he handled the situation better than a great deal of people, he was disturbed by the fact that such a terrible thing could happen. In the aftermath of that, Andrew became somewhat of an anti-terrorism activist at his school, organizing protest rallies and debates to determine if the US government was acting in an appropriate manner to combat the terrorist threat. Personally, Andrew doesn't think that they are, but he feels almost helpless to do anything about it.

Advantages: Andrew very rarely loses his cool and gets legitimately angry. Most of his closest friends have never seen him get mad, and he has near-legendary self control when it comes to his anger. He has a clever sense of humour and is relatively easygoing.

Disadvantages: Andrew's sense of humour can be cutting, and if one were sensitive, they'd likely be enraged with him. Andrew can not kill anyone. It goes against everything that he stands for.

Number: Male Student No. 13


Designated Weapon: Potassium Cyanide
Conclusions: B13 will be quite the lonely soul if he makes it out of my personal vendetta against the so called "A-Team", but if he's anything like Dodd, he might provide a melodramatic time on the island and then finally kick ass when he meets me face to face. I of course am betting he suffers an early loss for some "Anti-Terrorist" plan that ends up failing miserably.

The above biography is as written by Adam. No edits or alterations to the author's original work have been made.

Evaluations Edit

Handled by: Adam, Mitsuko2

Kills: None

Killed by: Killed when the van he'd been driving down the expressway crashed.

Collected Weapons: Potassium Cyanide (issued weapon)

Allies: Carmen Somerset, if he and Adam Amato had met, it was presumed that the two would've been allies.

Enemies: None to speak of, although it could be said that Carmen Somerset was his enemy. She manipulated and used him throughout the time she was aligned with him.

Mid-game Evaluation: Andrew, or Pants as he is more commonly known, began his game somewhere along the expressway. His opening moments of the game were spent pondering on how to survive, and Pants inevitably came to the conclusion that his best chance of survival lay within finding a group. He'd get what he asked for a lot sooner than he predicted. As he wandered down the seemingly neverending expressway, he ran into Bathurst student Carmen Somerset. After a tense moment between the two, Andrew announced his intentions of attempting to escape the game and offered to align himself with Carmen. After a lengthy debate, the girl accepted his offer. By then, nightfall was quickly shadowing the island in darkness, and the two decided that one of the evacuated cars along the freeway would provide more shelter than being out in the open.

The two went about searching the vehicles parked along the expressway, and it was Carmen who finally found an old, beat up van with a set of keys still inside. Carmen asked for Andrew's assistance after a few unsuccessful attempts at retrieving the keys, and Pants was happy to oblige. The problem was, he caught Carmen completely offguard when he walked up to her, wrapped his arms around her legs, and hoisted her up into the air. The result was a barrage of hits from the redheaded girl, knocking both him and her over in the process. The two fell to the ground, but thankfully enough, Carmen had managed to seize the keys out of the van before completely losing her balance.

After a rather uncomfortable moment on the pavement, the two reconciled and loaded up into the van.

From that moment onward, they wouldn't leave the van. They would stop only to eat occassionally and had made a short pitstop in the residential area for rest. Two days later, Carmen Somerset had changed her mind about her ally. Andrew was completely oblivious to it, but the redhead had been entertaining thoughts of killing him for quite some time now. To add fuel to the fire, Andrew brought up their "moment" back on the first day of the game, much to the dismay of Carmen. He had hoped that perhaps talking about the scene would cause a reinactment of it, but to no avail. He barely got a word in about the subject before a loud scream brought his attention back to the road.

A girl was standing right in front of the speeding van, caught like a deer in a set of headlights. Pants attempted some creative driving, swirving the van so as not to hit the girl. Because of the intense rain, though, the van hydroplaned and crashed into a downed treebranch. The speed of the impact flipped the van over and sent it rolling. Andrew's head crashed against the window and split open. It was the girl he'd almost run down who came to Andrew's aid, but it was too little, too late. He quickly bled to death in the van, eliminating himself from the competition rather early in the game.

End-game Evaluation: What a pity. I thought this kid was the next Adam Dodd, and he wound up making an early exit because he didn't pay enough attention in driver's ed. It's quite the sad story, indeed. On the bright side, Miss Somerset didn't have to get her hands dirty. Pants took care of offing himself for her.

Memorable Quotes: "Attack you? With what? The best I can do is to throw harsh language at you, and frankly, I don't think it'd be worth the effort, because you don't look much like someone who'd attack anyone, yourself." - A witty reply to an overasked question by Carmen Somerset.

"Now maybe you're all about the killing of the people, and if so, well...that's kind of a shame. But I know that me? I'm scared out of my fucking mind, and I wouldn't mind some company while I'm on my quest to save the world." - to Carmen on the expressway.

So this is the part in the movies that we gaze into each other's eyes and start feverishly ravishing each other. - Thoughts as Carmen lands on top of him in the middle of the freeway.

Other/Trivia Edit

  • Underneath the white Toronto Maple Leafs jersey that he adorned, Pants had on a blue t-shirt that read "Everyone is entitled to MY opinion".
  • Andrew has an older brother named Mark, who during the time of V2 was spending a year in Japan teaching English.

Threads Edit

The various threads that contained Andrew. In order from first to finish.


Version II:

Your Thoughts Edit

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